"When a thing has been said and well said, have no scruple; take it and copy it." ~ Anatole France
antohins.vtheatre.net: one family, one century (doc)
WRITE : nonfiction
anatoly, anatolant, ANT
Anatoly, my son...
Anatoly, my father...
All right, I'll repeat it, the obvious, but for the last time. Our peace and comfort is based on the evolving catastrophe. The more power we want, the bigger this catastrophe. And we love it.
Yes, the catastrophics, not the doomsday fears. If you want to have a peace of mind, why don't you accept it? This pathetic human in me keeps on talking about the unimportant stuff -- his social problems, the child's troubles. I hardly can read his home work, I have to rewrite it. Jesus! He is not a young fellow, but he can't get out of so-called "discourse"! He spent years learning the "dialogical" methods, reacting, reflecting, "thinking" (see Dairy 12.21.97). Thinking! Who needs it? What possibly can get out of it? They like to talk, the humans. You this saying: I think therefore I am. Great! Go on thinking, we'll see how far it could get you. What am I, a computer programmer? They learn how to think, as if it's the same as walking. Just get it and move on, would you? To be a human they made into a profession. That's what I consider a catastrophe, I can't live with this human on my back. What a parasite! I can live with the body and its simple needs, but I refuse to participate in his "thinking"! He drives me crazy with his idiotic so-called "questions"! You tell me, why does he insist on "knowing" everything? What is that "knowing"? I understand if he want to know how to drive, it's practical, but his big questions about life, being, history -- what does he want?
"Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand." (Spinoza) You know, such statements are consider very deep among humans. But why not laugh? To curse is a pleasure, isn't it? I rather lament than understand. Don't you know that not knowing is a greatest gift? Look at the child, what a wonderful state to be, the process, not the understanding but the wondering! The car was a miracle because I didn't know how it works. Now I know. so, are you happy now? I am not. Or sex, another disappointment. I have to force myself to remember that there is still the universe of unknown, otherwise I would hang myself. Well, this idiot, the human sometimes talks about it.
I don't mind having him around, when he knows his place. He can be fun. But most of the time, he drive me crazy.
Let me ask you, reader, Nietzsche was a smart man, why did he insisted on a man becoming a Super-man. Why "man" again? What is this "man" for him? Man, men, human -- aren't you tired of it? As if there is nothing else to talk about, nothing better than "man"! I am a man for forty eight years, don't you think I had enough of it? Why should I be a Super-man? I am sick of being human, I rather get out of this situation all together. Why can't I leave it behind, this "man" thing?
You see, the man, my human, he doesn't understand it. Every time I tell him that he is a mortal guy, that he should come with me into a non-human world, he keeps asking -- What am I then? What a moron! What kind of question is that? Didn't you read the books? What's the matter with you? Why can't you relax? Why can't you just be, without this identification? I love you the way you are, you don't to prove to me anything, man. To be human is something to use for living. No, he wants the answers. What a waste of time!
I know, you want to know who is I, the narrator. Well, this is very human, to want stupid things. I am I, but for some reason this is not enough for you. That's why I wrote those pages explaining the Self.
We are the mother of all catastrophes.
At night the chaos-demons are out. Don't you see them? They are the demons, invisible creatures. Turn on your tv. Now you see them. Now you understand why we always are in darkness. It's getting darker every day.
The celestial -- the human presence in the air. Radio voices, pictures, they are invisible to your naked eyes. You, fool, take another look, listen -- they are inside you!
Let me show you the seed of darkness -- the electric bulbs. You see, the electric light cuts out the piece of darkness. No, you don't see! The darkness is still there. There is more darkness in light when in darkness!
So-called "new" physics: a quantum system does not seem to have a sensible state of existence *until* it is observed.
Quantum theory is an intransitive theory. An intransitive theory relates the world to *my* system, not the world to everything else in the world.
If this is not enough for you, I don't know what else to offer. I did it for my idiot, to convice him to cool down. He is better now. Maybe the book could help you too. If you are a human.
One more thing, about the title. I was joking. Did you think I can seriously consider myself a meta-human? Of course, not! I thought you know who I am. No? Silly you, read it then -- God's Diary.
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2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06