Yes, yes, I'm still trying to sort out my websites, directories and pages.
Since some of them got their Idenitities (Sellassie sites, Film-North, Theatre w/Anatoly), I have to get focus of those of my homes which are not defined.
"GeoAlaska" is one of them. To represent me-writer and writing projects from many other sites?
My WRITE webdirectories are turning into a "Writer's Diaries" -- should I call this (new) book "WebWriter"?
April, 2001: I can't get back to the book. I don't want even want to think about it. I feel that the "subjects" (the feelings) I write about are not worthy of doing it. As if I do not want talk to myself, because I am interested in having a conversation with this man, me. I do not know what he can tell me, or what I can tell him that might be of use for him...
For days I do the webmaster's work, mindless -- just to do something, to be busy, not to fall into pieces. I expected another reaction from being back...
I never right about myself.
Whatever I write about the common man as applicable to me. I do not have myself anymore, I became indifferent. Every day is another day, when I do not wait for anything. It's not that "writer's block" they talk so much; I never had it. I don't even read what I wrote before I left for Europe. I remember it, the texts -- what I can find there for myself? What can it tell me about myself or life?
As if there is new distance between me and life, not like before, but a full separation. What is it for me in you, sister-life? What do you have to tell me? I have nothing to say to you...
You are not looking at me, life. I became invisible. Something I always wanted.
It's about love. When it's gone, you are gone. You don't even have to die.
I left the film WRITE directory for textbooks mostly. I wanted to escape the flat writing. Away from the functional texts, memo writing style. I knew that the repulsion is coming -- what could I expect from "text" books? No, I must go back to my "instructional" pages and populate them with the stories, images, symbols!
Notes on Notes
I crave for simplicity. All great works are simple. What is the secret? The plot, I guess. The story through the character. "Anna Karenina" -- the story and the character become one. If they do not merge, the message goes through some formalistic devises... Look how much (little) you invested in your characters (The Russian Trilogy); are the "father" and "son" metaphors? "Father" is the story, "son" is the story -- and their separation is the old myth. Fate even. No matter what they do. Oedipus; killing your father (Zeus' birth). So simple, so radical. No need to dwell on the foundations. Anna is a woman. Simple. Everything else to follow. Father and son -- no room for two, only for one male. Even in Christian myth Father sacrifizing his Son... It is so? Does father dies for his son? Is it possible? The the answer -- and you have the great story.
Film-North 2005
+ blogs
To sort out the Russian Pages (in Russian)!
8.14.05: lulu.com/theatre * I'm about to get myself into a new trouble -- POD... A lot to learn.
POD -- "Печать-на-спрос"? Книгу печатают, когда кто-то заказывает; очень удобно при малых тиражах. "Вперед" ничего платить не надо (мне) -- давно собираюсь, но книга это книга, а не электронные страницы. Не знаю, можно ли по-русски...
Self-Publishing: "Само-печать" (как "самоиздат")... издателей я давно не ищу и ничего никуда не посылаю с середины восьмидесятых. Ни по-русски, ни-английски. Возни много, а то, что пишу, популярным (прибыльным) не будет. Тем не менее, мне надо уходить от "прямого" письма ("на линии"), возращаться к страничному (печатному) формату, книге. Эти элекронные "страницы" стали раздражать; все обрывочно, картинки, реклама...
"Записные книжки" -- кто их публиковал до смерти?
А может быть интернет и есть эта "Общая Тетрадь"?
"Русские Страницы" жили тихо до лета 2005 года. Что я не хотел по-русски писать так долго? Гордыня, наверное.
2.19.06. Жизнь моя кончилась ( в который раз ) лет десять назад. "Личная" жизнь. Я потерял интерес к себе после России и Африки. Я продолжал насиловать себя, втискивал "прозу" в три "последнии" книги (от САМ до Теологии Технологии)... Хотя стилистически это правильно, книги эти принадлежали "Книге Зрителя" и "Идельный Театр" (вне меня, без меня, когда я только оставался "предметом" моих наблюдений).
Почему я не понимал этого перелома?
Умирать страшно. Трудно призваться себя, что кончилась "твоя" жизнь...
Даже сейчас, десять лет спустя, тяжело -- а что ты тут делаешь? Что? Пишу, думаю -- и пишу.
Писать должен каждый. Лучше хорошо. Немой -- калека. (Father-Russia) На английском. Книга, конечно, не закончена. Теперь появляются тексты по-русски. Возможно такая книга и должна была быть двуязычной. "Россия-Пахан" -- ладно не переводится, но, кто знает, звучит ли хорошо по-английски. Пишу я "наугад".
4.20.04. For a few months I work on the textbooks only -- and I am tired of this kind of writing. This is "text" writing, not books. Flat, functional, primitive. I write about theatre, acting, film -- how could it be? What's wrong? Why can't it be "literature" too?
Perhaps, I do not know how to write.
Maybe I simply do not know the cycles of this online writing... So, often I have the thought that I do not know what I am doing.
Writing Projects Pages @ GeoAlaska (Virtual Theatre) are to introduce the subdirectory with nonfiction books. The instructional (classes) subdirectories are self-explanatory (in textbooks).
"GeoAlaska" (Virtual Theatre) is about to become bilingual -- I am writing in Russian again. Not only the Russian Play, but some pages in Father-Russia. Why not? Why not to use both languages?
Am I used by now to online writing? Have I developed the new style?
I write straight to my webpages -- and I do not print hard copy pages anymore.
As if I am not interestested in what I write?
Since I do my writing in complete isolation, I am the only one to give the feed back to the writer. It's normal, but I do very little of editing...
I do not have time to stop and take a close look at what I am doing. Like writing in airport or taxi. And I do it at home, behind the desk.
Is that the web which make me run?
4.1.04. Two new writing projects: The Shrew and The Oedipus. For my next season directing. I didn't budget my time for those adaptations. And they will push out my other jobs; I have to have ready scripts by the end of the summer.
And the "instructional" webpages: I keep writing the notes for my classes, and -- I do not have time to work on the textbooks, but jump at one sybject or another.
It's not the healthy competition of writing projects, but a chiotic chase, when I am not capable of focus on any of them.
I feel that I back to the time, when I was editing small newspapers.
OK, I can accept the situation, but can I find the logic and order in it?
What a strange beast this new medium is!
I don't see myself in what I write...
Как все поменялось! Никакой цензуры, редакторов, даже типографии... Это опасно, "тексты" походят на болтовню, нужна само-дисциплина (что трудно, мне особенно). Похоже на какое-то "возвращение"...
[ I need WRITE pages; I have to keep my writing from my "reflections on writing." I need to see the process from the distance. ]
Что по-русски, а что по-английски -- не знаю. Может "русский" -- это временно, но кто знает?..
I don't have "personal" diaries, because my writing is personal. I state it many times: I do not think of myself as a writer. I do not feel that I write. It's not a profession for me, but it requires craft and skill, like no other art. I do not make money by writing since I left Russia. Maybe this is a real blessing.
Why? Because you have to be free from anything when you write. You might sell your book after you are done with it, not before.
Frangments: Textbooks:
Before I introduce two master-teachers -- Stanislavsky and Meyerhold, I need to say a few words about the gods (above). Apollo is everyoung, but not Dionysus. You see? Yes, there is price to pay for being sensuous, frenzied and orgiastic character. We need both: analitical Apollo with his balance and harmony and his opisite, Attica's father of drama.... ( act.vtheatre.net )
I do not write much about directing the text, because I have the SCRIPT analysis webpages, and I do not talk about directing actors eighter, because it is covered in Method Acting and Biomechanics. Not much about the public, because it is in the Spectator directory... What I want to focus on is Time-Space directing... (Stagematrix)
I have questions. A lot of them. In fact, I have nothing, but the questions. (Biomechanics for Method Actors)
Enough acting books are written for actors, why not to write a book about acting for directors? After all they are the ones, who work with actors, who should know know how to the get it out of them, the acting! (Method Acting for Directors)
Of course, I talk more about films (motion pictures that develop the language of cinema) and not movies (use of the language). I might say that films are poetry, or "art" as we used to call them now. (Film & Movies)
Virtual Theatre places the spectator in the center of any action. Virtual Theatre give you the control of action. Spectator is the next revolution after the Director's Theatre a century ago. Virtual Theatre is the Postmodern Theatre, Theatre of One! (The Book of Spectator)
Actors and directors, in order for you to act or direct, you have to understand the mind of playwright, who began the journey long before you meet the play.... (Script Analysis of the Century)
Stanislavsky thought that this total idenfication is not only possible, but is the nature of acting and theatre. We forget ourselves and give our mind and body to the fictious character, which therefore becomes REAL. (BioMethod)
StageMatrix (Meyerhold) is a "scientific" approach to directing. Secrets? No, knowledge. Can director construct a stage sentence? Can we write this stage poetry? But of course! We can and we should! Ballet does it with movement, symphony -- with music. What is this director's language and what is the art of directing? (Stagematrix)
"System" -- the Russian name for the school of Stanislavsky's training for actor. I didn't like it in Moscow, I was young. In teaching and directing it proved to be extremely useful. So, what is this "System of the Method" ("Method" is the American name)? In short, "psychological realism" -- meaning that we are after experiencing "true" emotions on stage. Is it possible? Actor = Character = Role (the basic formula). When I play Hamlet, I am Hamlet! Really? (Method Acting for Directors)
Digital is the finale of the long process. The moment we began to "record" mechanically (photo) it was a matter of time for the recording to become digital. Recording vs. Memories (remembering)? Mimesis is outdated concept? (Virtual Theatre)
The tasks and responsibilities of a director you can find in textbooks on directing; my goal is different -- I want to give you a sense of the artistic challenges and to do it using the concrete texts I worked with. (Book of Director: Showcases)
Film is the youngest and the new art technology (motion pictures), but it uses the old art information technologies (IT) -- drama, performance, paintings, sound and etc. How? This is the core of this course. (Love of Beauty: Core Aesthetics, Film)
I do not know how I can stress the importance of learning what is for stage, screen, page; maybe I should ask you to think through the Aristotle's three structural elements -- plot (action), hero (character) and throught (idea). All theree must be expressed through each other: your plot (story, read about the difference between the two) must have this special cinematic thought (something which is possible express ONLY on the screen). What is good for a short-story isn't good for a script. Think of medium -- music, dance, sculture -- they all ask for a specific CONCEPT (forms do not exist separately from the meaning). Examine your film "ideas" -- test them, before writing screen-play! (Virtual FilmMaking 101)
Какая разница? Да и зачем мне разбираться, почему опять по-русски? Раз пишу для себя, почему мне не читать по-русски? Какая разница на каком языке писать то, что никто кроме меня, читать не будет?
Конечно, к положению "непечатаемого" привыкнуть так и не могу, приняли меня в Союз Писателей чуть не в двадцать пять. Почему не печатается? Плохо пишет, значит. Ни одной книги! Какой позор!
Оправдываться не хочется. Извиняться? Большинство, они никаких книг не пишут и ничего не печатают... Нет, обьясняться не надо.
На вопросы свои я не отвечаю, по записываю, чтобы видеть, помнить и думать.
По-русски у меня страниц об интернете нет, и не хочу начинать, хотя теперь как webmaster ("хозяин сети") я должен был бы подумать, как эти "сетки-страницы" будут жить на другом языке. Что такое -- по-русски у них другое существование?
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Какая разница? Да и зачем мне разбираться, почему опять по-русски? Раз пишу для себя, почему мне не читать по-русски? Какая разница на каком языке писать то, что никто кроме меня, читать не будет?
