what is left from SELF --
Книга "Я" потеряна (еще одна).
Восстанавливать нет сил.
... Media in vita in morte sumus. (In the middle of life we are surrounded by death.) - quoted in Biedermann (s.v. skeleton.)
2007 -- год спустя.
1975 - 2005: Lost Manuscript * Потерянная Жизнь
WRITE : nonfiction
... Not only I couldn't write for several hour or correct, I could not read it![ lost files ]
Every time I glance at the page, any page, I feel a shame -- and being shamed. Why didn't I put the labor in this line? Why the picture, the image isn't finished? An the missing parts? I see that something is missing!
I can't even start the story! Three-four layers of introduction! I can do it only AFTER the story began!
Do I have to comment again on every chapter? I already have the NOTES directory!
Part I. Father
Part II. Son
Part III. Ghost
Stories. From the First Love to the Last, the most dramatic. Tragic? Death. From a teenager to an old man. Or the reverse?
Father is the most sexually charged out of the three?
Son is tempted, Spirit is an Artist.
I didn't know that I will be writing about women when I began this project. I thought it will be in POV, not in Self. Why am I surprised? My gradmoothers, my mother, my sister -- I should know that woman waits for me, but I didn't see them as women.
What I don't remember is the hurt. Strange.
I know that it was there, that I suffered, but when I try to find it, I don't see it. Why my mind have none of it?
I don't see any evil even when my heart was broken. It was love, any love makes you alive.
What did I learn from each? Younger and older, the world welcomed me, the singing place.
PS. MetaMe and I files are not in the main SELF directory (only here)!
@2000-2002 GeoAlaska *
NEXT: WRITE @ Tripod
Applications of SELF for Acting and Directing: Theatre Theory (see The Book of Spectator and Virtual Theatre).
* Folding (doubles) : Identification (One or Many)
* Concept of Trinity : actor (artist) -- character (hero) -- spectator
Spectator -- Audience -- Public
* "Angelic" nature of virtual reality (Hamlet as angel, of Demon Hamlet)
©2004 filmplus.org *
* Use http://vtheatre.net to link to Virtual Theatre pages!
2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
u21.us -- Utopia... part of this Utopia is, of course, me -- the place I cannot arrive. [dreams.vtheatre.net]
Do I still any interest in (exploring) myself?
I am not sure.
In the world?
What are interests are left?
... diary.vtheatre.net/2009 [part 1 and 2] + filmplus.org/aDiary/2009
Could it be God?
That's the name of Utopia for you!